Transform your Relationships with Radical Responsibility
Patience has never been my strong suit.
Coupled with a stubborn streak, its created a challenging mix.
For a long time, I found myself easily irritated by those closest to me. They were too much of this, too much of that. I was right, they were wrong. Them, them, them, them, them – I was quick to point fingers.
I grew sick of hearing myself complain. The constant frustration was exhausting and I was leaking energy left and right. I wanted to plug the holes.
So I considered my options: Disengage from loved ones because "they" bug me? Not ideal. Or, accept everyone as they are and find a way to be less bothered. Ah, a mindset shift.
I embarked on a journey of self-discovery, where my relationships became a big fat mirror reflecting back lessons I needed to learn. What emotions were being triggered in me and why?
Here’s what I uncovered:
Impatience and the Need for Control:
When I felt impatient, it was a manifestation of my need to be in control.
Feeling not in control was an uncomfortable space for me, driven by a fear of failure.
Argumentative Nature and the Need to be Heard:
When I felt argumentative, it was actually a cry to be heard.
This need stemmed from a fear of unworthiness.
Anxious Attachment and the Need for Support:
When I felt anxiously attached, it was a signal of my need to be supported.
This need was rooted in a fear of abandonment.
This mindset shift transformed my relationships, making them a million times more joyful. I realized my feelings were connected to my own needs, fears, and expectations.
Talk about radical responsibility!
Conclusion: This transformation wasn’t an overnight process; it's like learning a new skill. Taking baby steps toward understanding the root cause of our behaviors allows us to interact from a more mindful place. This doesn't mean every relationship is meant for you, and it certainly doesn't apply to abusive/narcissistic relationships. However, understanding yourself better empowers you to choose who to let into your life, embracing your valid needs while fostering relationships from a place of mindfulness and responsibility.
